


Closure

by orphan_account



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, I'm new at this, My First Fanfic, My First Smut, My First Work in This Fandom, POV Bellamy, POV Clarke, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-23 11:55:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4875907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story takes place six months after the war with Mount Weather ended. Camp Jaha has already begun its renewal process, with the goal of creating a strong Sky People nation. Clarke has not returned during all this time. Bellamy has been trying to cope with Clarke's absence, and has been silently waiting, along with the rest of the surviving 44, for her to return to camp. He decides he cannot wait any longer and takes matters into his own hands, as is the Blake style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> First of all, thank you so much for the positive feedback and support. This was my first fic and I think it did alright! Now that I've gotten more comfortable with writing, I'm going to take a hiatus from this story so I can work on something better. I know three of you bookmarked the story, so I wanted to give you a heads up that there won't be any updates for a while. I'm not sure for how long, but I've become a bit uninspired by this story-line so I want to do something different for now. 
> 
> This was my very first fic and I'm very thankful for all the kudos and positive feedback. 
> 
> Thanks again!  
> -Featherrump

It has been six months since we made the decision to kill all of the people of Mount Weather to save ourselves. It has been six months since we made the call to end the lives of both our enemies and their innocent families. It has been six months since we decided to euthanize the people in the mountain who helped our people escape. It has been six months since Jasper held Maya’s lifeless body in his arms, unable to tell her how he truly felt. 

Six months have passed since Clark left, believing the weight of those difficult decisions were only hers to bear.

I have a reason for being opposed to Clarke leaving camp after the war was over. I know she felt that it was necessary for her to leave to live alone, given the decisions she – and I - made, and the faltering relationship between herself and her mother. It was something she set her mind to do, and I get that. I can try to respect that. The problem I have with Clarke’s absence from the camp is simply the fact that she is no longer in my life. I considered her my partner up until the moment she decided to leave. The feelings I developed for her were never spoken, but she means a lot more to me now than she did when we first landed. Hell, when we first arrived I never thought we would ever see eye-to-eye. I convinced myself that she was the embodiment of what I hated in the Ark: entitled, wealthy, and privileged. I didn’t think she fit the world that myself and nearly the rest of the group wanted to create in this new land. She challenged my idiotic, self-imposed authority in front of the people I set myself up to lead in the direction I convinced them to go. As I reflect upon what happened when we first arrived, I’m so glad she’s more stubborn than I am. I’m glad she challenged me, established herself as a leader, and taught myself and others to protect, cherish, and provide for our own. I’m glad she proved herself to be twice the leader I’ll ever be. Most of all, I’m incredibly grateful that I was able to meet her and see how much of an incredible woman she truly is, and because of that, I’m falling head over heels for her.

There you have it. My selfish reason for wanting Clarke to remain at camp and have her suffer through the post-war fallout is only so I could keep her close to me. I would have given anything to be her confidant. I wanted to be the one she spoke to after a difficult council meeting. I wanted to be the one she confided in after difficult day at the camp hospital. I wanted to be the first one she came to for advice. I wanted to be there for her at the very moment she couldn’t handle the pressure anymore and needed someone to help her hold her worries. I wanted to be the first person she saw when she woke up, and I wanted her to see the look on my face when she’s the first person I see when I wake up. I wanted to be that person, her special person. 

As you can probably guess, I never found the right moment to tell her. I didn’t want my feelings for her, and her eventual denial of me, to become another one of her burdens to bear. I care for her too much to deny her the escape she needed after the war. Not having her near me, however, has made me realize that I was an idiot for ever hiding my feelings for her. What if what she needed post-war was to feel like someone cared for her? If I ever see her again I’ll be sure to tell her exactly how I feel, no matter the situation, and no matter the consequences.


	2. Bellamy Reflects

It was early morning. I had just finished my guard duty and was walking to my quarters to rest. I noticed Jasper and Monty sitting at a table together, eating a small breakfast. I nodded at them as I walked by and Monty nodded back, while Jasper had a distant look in his eyes, noticeably thinking about something, or someone, else. Since Maya passed, Jasper has been having a difficult time finding joy in what he used to love. I don’t blame him. The feeling of happiness we had before the war will never be the same again. We all found a way to make the best of what we have and to look towards the future, but it will never be the same quality of life we had before the conflicts. I thought about approaching Jasper and Monty, but I decided against it. We had a silent understanding of boundaries; Jasper was in no mood to make small talk, and Monty was only there for support. It has been this way for six months, and will continue until Jasper finds his peace. I continued on through the inside common area, where I saw more of the 44 speaking quietly amongst themselves. 

Since the war, the surviving 44 felt it best to integrate completely into the new Camp Jaha society. War changed us, as it would change anyone. We felt it necessary to start building our own nation. The surviving 44 helped establish better living quarters, better common spaces, and helped with their fair share of work duty. The two remaining councillors, Kane and Abby, also turned a new leaf since the war. The criminal status we were given on the Ark no longer seemed relevant; we all had done what we could to survive. We all committed heinous acts to ensure the safety and prosperity of our own nation. Abby and Kane understood that. We were all granted full pardons by Abby, using her authority from whatever broken governing body still remained. I’m grateful for the pardons. It means that, for now, my people no longer need to worry about being treated like lower class members of society. I’ve had a few of my people approach me to ask my opinion of the pardons and the new integration process. I’ve been encouraging them to integrate as much as they can. If we ever get thrown into a local conflict again, we need to be strong. We need to be the strong, unified, and unforgiving nation that Clarke wanted us to be. 

I opened the door to my room and locked it behind me. Clarke. I let my body sink down on to the floor and my head fall forward into my hands. I shouldn’t have thought about Clarke again. God, I miss her. It hurts to miss someone this much. I didn’t always miss her this much. A few days after she left, I felt more angry than upset that she was gone. Now, it’s becoming more and more difficult to live without her around, especially with the integration process. We’re all trying to grow and live together, which is what she always wanted. It’s hard to do it without her here. Get control of yourself, Bellamy. She’s probably perfectly content wherever she is, and she’s probably not having sleepless, restless nights thinking about me. I dragged myself back up and changed out of my guard uniform. Sleep. Just go to sleep. I closed my eyes and began to force myself to think of anything but Clarke, but my dreams kept wandering to her and the handful of times I actually saw her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. The chapters will get longer, I promise. I just want to keep them short and easy to read for the time being.


	3. The Blakes

“BELL! BELL, WAKE UP!”

I woke up, startled. Octavia is banging on the door. Is something wrong? Are we under attack?

“Bell! We need you out here. Hurry up!”

I jumped out of bed, threw the nearest pair of pants, and rushed out of my room. Octavia was running in front of me. We rushed down the hall, past the common area, and out into the open courtyard. Lincoln was outside waiting for us, and Octavia rushed beside him. They were surrounded by what seemed to be the entire encampment, along with a group of Grounders.

“Bell. We need your help with something.” Octavia said with a wide, stupid grin on her face.

“Is everything alright? What’s going on?” I was in full panic mode and I did not understand what Octavia found to be so funny. She’s been using weird social cues ever since she became more of a Grounder. I should talk to her about that. It’s rude.  
“Bell, we need you to marry us. Today. Now. ”

Are you fucking kidding me? I was woken up from a deep sleep, the first deep sleep I’ve had in weeks (the first deep sleep where I dreamt of a happy Clarke and not a sad one, but that’s beside the point), just for this? For an impromptu wedding? I looked down at myself and realized I was barely clothed, and I had morning wood. This is just fan-fucking-tastic, isn’t it? 

I put on my best condescending voice: “Octavia, you could have planned this better. This is neither the time nor the place to have a wedding. Most of us are still shaken up from the war, and it would be best if you waited.”

“Bellamy, we all want this. All of us. Actually, we need this.” Octavia gestured to the crowd behind her and Lincoln. All of the 44 were there. Raven beside Wick, both of them red-faced with what I assumed to be joy, but would later discover that it was their reaction to me being dishevelled and indisposed in front of our entire camp. “We want something positive to happen around here, for once. This is the best opportunity to do this. Lincoln and I love each other. It’s time to join our families.” Goddammit, Octavia was right. She’s always right. This camp - our people - need a joyful event to join us together. They need something else to focus on besides the memories of war. They need an excuse to drink and be merry. Unfortunately for them, I’m still not entirely convinced that this is the right time. You’re going to hate me for what I say next:

“Octavia, you’re right, but we need to wait.”

Almost as if on cue, many of my people collectively sighed in annoyance. Leave it to me to piss off the entire camp, again. 

“Bellamy, both Octavia and I have put a lot of thought into this. You know I love your sister, but I will only agree to have this marriage if I have your blessing. We want you to be a part of this.” Lincoln is a good guy, I have to admit. I want him to be with Octavia. Plus, he just sided with me in front of the entire camp. That’s a bonus, right? Right?  
“Bell, I didn’t want to tell you when I started the plans because I was worried you would do something like this. That’s why I thought it best to catch you off guard so you wouldn’t have a chance to disagree. We want you to be a part of this wedding, but if you’re going to stall until you decide what you think is best for me, then we’ll go ahead without you.” Octavia spoke so everyone could hear her. She meant what she said; she doesn’t need my approval, she has proved to be a very capable young woman who will- and can – do anything she sets her mind on. She spoke loudly to reassure our people that they can still go ahead with this event, with or without me. Like I said, our people need this.

“Octavia, can we speak in private?” Okay, now is the time. She needs to know exactly why I want to postpone the wedding. There’s no way I’m telling her this in front of everyone. 

“Fine. Let’s go.” Octavia shot me the angriest of looks and stormed away from the crowd. Shit, she’s quite upset with me. Understandably.

We walked towards the tree line outside of camp. Octavia walked in front of me, clearly ready to get this inconvenient conversation out of the way. The entire walk was torture. I was thinking about how to word what I was feeling without inadvertently making this day all about myself. This was, or is, supposed to be her day. She must have been planning it for a while and kept it a secret from me in case I didn’t give my blessing. It’s easy for Octavia to say what she’s feeling. It’s not easy for me. I’m supposed to be the strong leader that people rely on to never make mistakes and to always think clearly. I’m not supposed to become visibly overwhelmed by the idea of a wedding.

We arrived at the tree line. I opened my mouth to speak my mind, but Octavia did it for me:

“You want Clarke to be at the wedding, don’t you?”

“Octavia, I –“

“No, don’t start. You want Clarke to attend the wedding. You want us to wait for when our glorious, faultless leader walks in to camp after months of being absent just so she can witness a happy moment? What is wrong with you? She chose to leave. She chose to leave all of us behind. Why should she matter at this moment, when we are choosing to move on with our lives?” Octavia, for the first time in months, began to tear up. I haven’t seen her upset like this since we lived on the Ark. She cares for Clarke, she really does. I knew it was difficult for her to see Clarke leave, whether it was because she resented her or because she knew she would miss her friendship. 

“Octavia, we need Clarke. She’s an important member of our nation.” I tried to pin it as a mutual need. That was a mistake.

“That’s bullshit. We don’t need her. We all needed her when we were at war, but we don’t anymore.” Her voice was getting louder, more agitated.

“No, please listen to me. I need Clarke. I need her with me. I need her to…” Ah, I can’t say it. Octavia’s staring right at me, expecting me to say something that will force her to change her mind. I can’t do it. She won’t believe me. 

“Bellamy, you know you can tell me anything. I’m listening.” Finally, she noticed that what I’m about to admit to her is difficult for me to say. She lowered her voice and let me tell her how I was feeling.

“I need her to be here for your wedding because I want to share my happy moments with her at my side for the rest of my life.”

There. I got it out. Well, part of it anyway.

Octavia was quiet. Too quiet. She was mulling this over in her head. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking; her face was nearly expressionless (thanks to Grounder training, I imagine).

“Then we wait.” She said curtly, and turned on her heel to head back to camp.

I realized as I was watching her walk away that I didn’t tell her in hopes of her approval. I don’t need her approval, just as she doesn’t need mine. All I need is for her to understand why I’ll be missing from Camp Jaha tomorrow, and why I’ll be returning either broken-hearted or full of purpose.


	4. Bring Her Home

I woke up before dawn and packed my bags. I packed enough rations and supplies to last a few weeks. I locked the door of my room and headed towards the gates to begin my journey to Clarke. I was ready to leave, but I wasn’t prepared to face her. 

I couldn’t shake this crippling fear that Clarke will completely freak out at me for re-entering her life over something as miniscule as a wedding. So many other things had happened while she was gone: births; deaths; a shortage of medical supplies; trips to Mount Weather to replenish those supplies; Abby needing help in the operating room after a hunting incident. There were many, many severe situations where some of us admitted we could have used Clarke here with us. Still, none of us broached the idea of sending a party to look for Clarke and bring her home. It’s not like the idea never crossed any of our minds, but we knew Clarke would come back if it suited her, and that she will be safe with her survival skills and her wits. She never came back with the purpose to help build our settlement and further help our people, so why would she be keen on coming back for Octavia and Lincoln’s wedding? 

Oh, right, because I will try to convince her to come back. For me. 

God, Bellamy, you’re such a shit sometimes. I’m sure she’s happy, wherever she is. It has been six months, after all. She might be part of a different Grounder nation right now, or she could be living in solitude in a remote area, or maybe she found her own small group of misfits and finally feels like she belongs somewhere. She might not need us at all. She might not need me at all. 

“Bellamy?”

Oh no, someone saw me leaving. I turned around to find Jasper standing outside of the gate.

“You’re leaving to find Clarke, aren’t you?” 

Am I that transparent when it comes to Clarke? I need to work on being more mysterious.

“Yes, I am. Please don’t tell anyone, and especially not Octavia. I don’t know how long it will take me to find her, if I even find her at all.” I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of this until now, but there is always the chance that I won’t find Clarke. There’s a chance that she covered up her tracks very well just so none of us could find her. There’s a chance she’s more than a three week journey away, when my rations will run out and I’ll have no choice but to turn back. 

“Please find her and bring her back home. A lot of us really miss her. We need her here. It’s been difficult to move on since the war…” Jasper’s voice cracked. If anyone should resent Clarke for making the call to expose all of the people of Mount Weather to radiation, it should be him. 

Jasper continued: “It’s been difficult to move on since the war, but it would be easier if we had Clarke here. She saved us. She promised to save us at any cost. Without her here it feels like she sacrificed herself so we could live. We all want to know if she’s okay. We all need closure.”

“I’ll bring her home, Jasper. I’ll bring her home if I can find her.” Jasper nodded and walked towards me. We hugged. It felt good to have his support and the support of most of the 44. 

After that, I felt a lot better about finding Clarke. It’s not just about bringing her home for the wedding – that’s just the excuse I will use. Our people need her for support, and she would be lying to herself if she didn’t feel the same way. She can yell at me all she wants when I get there, as long as I can get a few words in. I parted ways with Jasper and turned towards the forest, heading east towards Tondc. If Clarke left to either face or bury her burdens, she would start there.


	5. Hints

**Clarke, five days ago**

I woke to the familiar sound of birds chirping in the early morning light. I removed the light blanket off of myself and sat up in my makeshift bed. It’s another day. I pulled my hair away from my face and secured it in a tight bun. My stomach growled. I have to eat.

I didn’t bother packing much non-perishable food when I left camp six months ago. I packed enough to sustain me until I reached my destination, but I wanted to survive off the land. I wanted to live independently: free from obligations, free from the pressure of being a leader, and free from the daily comforts that spoiled me.

Free from the judgement of everyone I love. Free from consequence.

I’ve reached that goal. I haven’t seen my loved ones in half a year. I no longer have to rely on anyone; I hunt, fish, and gather all on my own. I haven’t encountered many other people yet, other than familiar Grounder faces, and the occasional sound of Reavers screaming in the distance. I haven’t had to defend myself yet. I don’t mind too much. This is the life I chose. I could face them again if I wanted. I’m not afraid of consequence, or so I let myself believe. There’s nothing stopping me from returning to Camp Jaha to see my people again, other than the life I made for myself here. I could pack up the small amount of my belongings and head back tomorrow.

I shook that thought from my head. I could never go back. I belong here. I’ve been gone for so long that I wouldn’t even know my people anymore if I showed up after months of being absent. That is, if I was even welcomed back. Octavia is probably a Grounder commander now, for all I know. My mom and Kane probably reinstated government over our people and initiated some kind of renewal program to get everyone back up on their feet. I’m sure they found jobs for all of the 44, especially Raven, Wick, and Monty. Jasper… Oh, Jasper. I hope he’s doing well. The last time I saw him he was completely shaken with the loss of Maya. I hope he’s doing better now. And of course there’s Bellamy. Well, I’m sure Bellamy is still the same; overworking himself on guard duty or plotting his next adventure. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest. We had grown to respect each other so deeply, and for a brief moment I thought about staying and developing our partnership as leaders of the 44. Alas, I gave up on that idea. The 44 are better off without me.

I continued to day dream, fabricating futures and destines for all of the friends and family I left behind. It was like I was trying to convince myself that they’re all fine without me. It’s not like they need me or anything, and it’s not like I’m so important to them that they can’t move on without me. I just want to feel reassured that the war hasn’t taken a heavy toll on their spirits. I want to believe they are leading happy and healthy lives.

Ah, enough of this. I should move on with my day and do something productive. I rose from bed and headed to my small, crude kitchen which only consisted of an assorted amount of hand-woven baskets, small recycled containers from camp, and a few utensils. I grabbed one of the containers of berries and began eating them. While eating, I glanced around at the contents of my quaint little cabin. I had everything I needed here: a change of clothes, a small medical kit, various small tools, a gun with enough ammo to defend myself, a bundle bow, a crude fishing rod, and a smoke shack attached to my tiny cabin. I notice my store of meat is getting low. I will need to hunt for more food today.

I got dressed, grabbed my fishing rod, and headed out the door. It’s a beautiful day. I built my cabin approximately one week’s journey south west from Tondc. I found a beautiful area at the base of large, rolling hills, unpopulated by Grounders or any other folk. I feel safe in my heavily forested enclave. I feel free. I made my way to the small stream about a ten minutes’ walk from my cabin. I sat down on a large rock beside the stream, taking in my surroundings. It’s beautiful here, but I couldn’t help but feel like this view was wasted on me. I wish I could show someone. I wish I had someone here to enjoy the view, to enjoy my company, and to enjoy the life I created for myself here. Despite my wishes, I know it won’t happen. I won’t see anyone until finally decide to head back to Camp Jaha, and that might never happen. Unless… I could leave markers in the woods that will lead to my cabin. It could compromise my safety if someone undesirable found them, but I could make them specific to something myself and the other 44 shared. I could leave clues for someone to find me. Someone who wants to see me again.

I glanced up at the sky. It was still early. I could easily fabricate some markers to tie or hang from the trees. I rushed back to the cabin, without any fish, eager to begin. My mind kept flooding with ideas. Would someone come find me, and if so, who would do it? I have an idea, but I made it clear to him that I did not want to be followed after I left, despite his obvious disagreement. I hope he’s still as stubborn as he was when we first met. I can’t wait to show him how much of a survivalist his Princess has become.

 

**Bellamy, present day**

I’ve been walking for nearly three days, only taking breaks to eat and sleep for a handful of hours. I have to consciously make an effort to rest and eat. I’m so eager to see her, but I don’t want to be exhausted when I finally find her. What I want to do with her will take a lot of energy. That sounded a lot worse than what I wanted. I mean, Clarke’s probably going to yell at me. I have to be prepared. If I’m tired and hungry, I’ll yell right back at her. I don’t want that. I want to be calm, ready, and on my best behaviour.

I passed Tondc a day ago. I spoke to a few villagers and none of them remember seeing Clarke pass by. That means she reached Tondc before they began rebuilding the site. She went straight there after leaving Camp Jaha. I thought it best that I take a look around the perimeter of the village, looking for any clues of Clarke spending time here. I ended up finding a small memorial shrine. I had asked a villager if a Grounder made it, and she replied no. I can only assume Clarke made it. That gave me hope. This might be a sign that she has finally come to terms with what happened, and the decision she made to have Mount Weather bomb Tondc. I think she has finally faced her demons. She might be more willing to come back home than I thought she would be.

Now, here’s the tricky part. Where did she go from there? I ruled out the coast. I couldn’t imagine her living beside a huge body of water for very long. I don’t think she would have gone straight to Lexa, or any other Grounder camps, so that rules out the other camps on the map I acquired from Tondc. I took a wild guess and assumed she went south instead of north.

So, here I am walking south, completely unsure of where Clarke made a settlement. If she even made a settlement at all, that is. I still have enough supplies to last approximately another two weeks, so I’m still feeling confident, but it’s easy to think the worst when you want something really, really bad.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed something strange hanging from the branch of a tree. I was far enough from Tondc to assume that it wasn’t some kind of Grounder contraption, and up until that point I hadn’t heard of any other folk living in the area, so it couldn’t have been a weird trap. I climbed the tree to retrieve it. It was a piece of an old food container from the Ark.

Clarke. She’s leaving hints.

I pulled the hint from the tree and held it tightly in my hands. Clarke held this. I pulled my hands up to my chest. As ridiculous as it sounds, this was the closest I’ve been to her in months. My heart...fluttered. She wants to be found. Does she assume that I’d be the one to make the journey, or is she expecting someone else? I don’t care. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore, and that’s all the reason I need to start running towards her.


	6. Waiting

**Clarke, two weeks later**

I was sitting around my small campfire outside of my cabin. The sun has set and it was getting cold. It’s been over two weeks since I placed the hints in the woods. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up yet. I need to be realistic. Being found depends on what’s happening at Camp Jaha right now. If they need me, they’ll come find me. They might not need me for another six months or more.

Or being found could depend on if someone wants to see me again. It could depend on if there’s someone who never wanted me to leave camp. I let my mind turn to thoughts of Bellamy Blake. He’s the only one who made it clear that he didn’t want me to leave. The others were too occupied in their post-war fallout to realize that I had no intention of coming back, but he was only focused on me. I couldn’t help but wonder, has Bellamy moved on? I mean, did he really listen to me six months ago when I told him to forget about me?

Like I said, leaving him was difficult. He offered me his forgiveness of the crimes I felt I had committed against our people. He offered me his empathy and his support. He wanted me to stay. I could tell he was hurt by my willingness to leave it all behind and start a life for myself elsewhere. I’ve seen Bellamy be strong. I’ve seen him be tough, resilient, determined, and proud. Until then, I had never seen him look genuinely hurt. I hurt him, and he revealed it in his brown eyes. I knew I hurt him, too, but I didn’t let my own eyes reveal that. I tried to remain cold and distant during our goodbyes. I didn’t want to be followed. I had to do this for myself. I’m sure I made it seem like I didn’t have feelings for him and wouldn’t have cared if he expressed any feelings for me.

Oh, Clarke, look at what you’ve done.

I pulled my blanket tightly around my shoulders and listened to the sounds of the woods. I heard the familiar calls of bugs and small animals. Until a couple of weeks ago, I found these sounds to be quite comforting. It was a reminder of how safe and free I am in this new home. Now, however, it made me feel lonely. I started to cry, despite my best efforts to keep calm. What if Bellamy doesn’t come? What if my hints are left suspended from those trees for years and years? What if an unfriendly stranger finds those hints and follows them?

I heard a wolf howl in the distance. It was dark now, and the fire needed another piece of wood. I didn’t want to be outside alone anymore. I left the fire to die out and headed back inside the cabin. I wrapped another blanket around myself and laid down in my bed, letting my tears run freely until sleep took me.

 

 

**Bellamy, present day**

How far did Clarke go? I just found yet another hint. I’m beyond thankful for these hints, but my god, is she even on this continent anymore? I’ve been travelling for nearly two weeks now. Her hints have taken me south east through the deep, unpopulated woods. It’s dark, my legs are exhausted from trying to run through this dense bush, and my stomach won’t stop growling. It’s time to make camp. I can see a large hill in the distance, probably only an hour or two away from where I am now. I’ll have to make that climb in the morning. Given the path Clarke has sent me on so far, she probably scaled that hill and made a settlement another week’s journey beyond it. I don’t think my legs could take it today.

I cleared a small space to make a fire and set up my sleeping roll. Making a fire was easy; it hasn’t rained in about week. I quickly ate a small meal, anxious to fall asleep and continue my journey tomorrow morning. I laid down in my sleeping roll, lifting my arms up to balance my head on my hands. It was peaceful here. The sounds of the woods made me feel calm and safe. I can understand why Clarke went this way.

I was so close to seeing her. So close. My body was drained, but I still mustered up the energy to think about her before falling asleep. We’ve never been physically close before, other than the one hug we shared when Clarke was happy to see me. Don’t get me wrong, I was absolutely elated to see her. It just took me off guard to have her run into my arms like that. Will she do that again when I find her? Better yet, will she let me hold her? Or will this time be different because she might not want to see me at all?

Relax, Bellamy. You’ll find out soon enough. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts turn off, listening only to the soothing sounds of the woods.

 

 

**Clarke, the next day**

I didn’t want to get out of bed. Not now, not ever.

I woke up later than usual, missing the song of the early morning birds. I was still wrapped up in the blankets from last night. My tears had dried on my face, locking some of my hair onto my cheeks. I was starving, but unable to get myself out of bed to eat. I was still wearing yesterday’s clothes. I was a mess. I couldn’t shake the thought that I pushed everyone I love away from me. I was so obsessed with the idea that nobody wanted me that I pushed away the one man who did. I don’t like myself today. It seemed pointless to take care of myself today. Nobody’s coming for me today.

“He-Hello?”

I heard a strange, pathetic greeting come from the clearing. I became completely still. Someone just called out to me. Here. Fuck. What do I do?

I threw the blankets off of myself and grabbed my gun. Is this how I should react? That greeting didn’t sound menacing, but it didn’t sound friendly, either. It sounded confused. I don’t know who it is. Do I? The call seemed to come from so far away. I stood in front of my door, grasping my gun tightly with both hands. Should I open the door, or should I call back at them?

 

 

**Bellamy, a few minutes ago**

I found the cabin easily enough. A well-trodden path became clearer as I walked closer to the cabin. Clarke must have been living here for nearly the entire six months.

My excitement got the best of me. I ran to the small clearing, stopping just after the tree line. How do I approach her? It’s been so long. Do I knock? Am I supposed to be romantic right now? How the fuck do I be romantic?

I actually took the time to think about this. This is supposed to be the moment where we see each other again after being apart for so long. If I’ve read anything about successful happy reunions it’s that they’re supposed to be the climax of the story. The onus is on me to make the story climax right now. Oh god, what do I do? I ran my hands through my hair and looked at my travel-worn clothes. I’m a greasy, disgusting mess right now. Whatever, just go with it. Just say the first thing that pops into your head. You can do this. Hell, she might not even be home right now. You might be wasting your time fretting about a happy ending while she’s out in the woods being heroic or something.

“He-Hello?”

I could have scratched the skin off my face with my reaction to my own voice. I barely squeaked that out. She’s going to think there’s a confused child waiting outside of her door. Jesus, Bellamy. You’re really the hunk of this love story, aren’t you?

The cabin was still quiet. Nobody came out. If she’s in there, now’s your chance to make up for that pitiful greeting.

I stood up straight, dusted off the loose dirt from my shirt, cleared my throat, and called out in my best sultry, deep, and mysterious voice: “Hey Princess, get your fine ass out of that cabin.”

Since when do you talk like that? She’s going to punch you in the throat.

 


	7. Reunion

**Clarke, now**

_“Hey Princess, get your fine ass out of that cabin.”_

My heart fluttered and my knees felt weak. Bellamy. I could feel my stomach rise up into my chest from excitement and longing. I put the gun away and swung the door open. We stared at each other for the first time in months. My eyes started to well up with tears of joy. I missed him a lot more than I ever knew. He smiled; the widest, goofiest, most uninhibited smile that has ever crossed his lips. It was far, far from his usual reserved smirk. He missed me, too.

 

**Bellamy, now**

Clarke is absolutely stunning. She emerged from the cabin with frazzled hair, wrinkled clothes, and eyes wet from crying, but I’ve never seen her look more beautiful as she did in that very moment. I’ve never been more certain of my feelings for her at that very moment, and I want to hold her to show her just how much she means to me. I ran towards her, arms open, ready to scoop her up to my chest and never let go.

 

**Clarke, now**

Bellamy ran towards me, arms open wide. I ran towards him. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted to feel the warmth and comfort of him pressed up against me.

He picked me up with both arms and pulled me up high and close, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. I held the back of his head with my hands, gently running my fingers through his hair. I rested my head on top of his, and I could feel his head snuggling up to my neck, letting my hair fall gently on his face. He was rubbing one hand up and down on my back. It felt like he was comforting me, as he must have seen my tears, but it also felt like he was memorizing me with his hands, not wanting to miss a moment, and not wanting to lose me. I wanted to be as close to him as he wanted to be to me. We understood each other in that moment. This was what we both wanted.

“I’ve missed you so much, Clarke.” He said into my neck. That was all I needed to hear. I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist, giving my body the support it needed so Bellamy could move his hands down to the small of my back.

 

**Bellamy, now**

The way Clarke pressed her body against mine showed me that she missed me as much as I missed her. We’ve never been this close before, and it felt amazing. I felt her lift her head from mine to look down at me, and I looked up at her to meet her gaze. Her eyes were wet from crying, but she was smiling. She was happy. My happy Clarke. She was studying my face, taking it all in. I did the same to her. Her hair was longer, and her eyes more tired, but she was still the same Clarke I fell for all those months back.

“Bellamy,” she began, “I’m sorry I left. I should have let you come with me.”

That was all I needed to hear. I lifted one hand and put it on the back of her neck, gently pushing her head closer to mine. She cupped my face with her hands, lovingly drawing circles on my temples. She hasn’t stopped smiling since I lifted her up, and I haven’t either. She began moving her fingers slowly, very slowly, from my temples to the back of my head, leaning her face in closer to mine with every stroke. I felt my breath catch in my throat. Am I nervous? Am I really nervous at this moment?

 

**Clarke, now**

I could feel Bellamy’s grip getting tighter as his body tensed up in anticipation. His body was getting warmer, too, as if he was feeling nervous. I never let my gaze wander away from his, and I was thoroughly enjoying the look of craving in his brown eyes. His face was exactly the way I remembered it: freckles along his nose and upper cheeks, deep brown eyes, strong jaw-line, and the tastiest looking lips I think I’ve ever seen. I wanted to touch every part of him. Judging by the way he’s rubbing his hands along the small of my back, I think he feels the same way.

Clarke, you’re falling for him.

I decided to close the space between us, slowly bringing my lips towards his, and kissing him ever-so-gently as I felt his heart beat faster in his chest.

 

**Bellamy, now**

When I say it took every part of my being not to let my instincts completely control me, I mean it. I’m hanging on by a thread here. She’s driving me completely and utterly wild. All of the time I spent missing her and longing for her in the privacy of my room at camp amounted to this moment. Her lips were on mine. She was kissing me slowly and carefully, clearly wanting to savour every moment.

I wanted to savour the moment, too, but I wanted more of her.

I take the lead and let my lips part slightly, hoping she would get the hint and open hers up a bit more, too.

She did. She got the hint. Oh, fuck, she really got the hint. I felt her hands tighten on the back of my head, pulling my hair slightly. I let my hands move down lower on her body, cupping her ass where it meets her thighs, using my new hold on her to lift and pull her closer. She moaned and clenched her thighs where they wrapped around my waist, inviting me to get a little bolder with my actions.

She moaned. She really moaned. I made her moan. Her moaning made me moan back. This is going really well.

She matched the moves of my lips for every step, playfully touching her tongue with mine. Her lips are incredibly soft and warm, and so inviting. I stop leading and let her kiss me, setting the stage for what’s to happen next. She grabs my bottom lip with hers and sucks on it, hard.

 

**Clarke, now**

Bellamy groaned deeply as I sucked on his bottom lip. He really, really likes it. I can feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest, feel his breath growing heavier, and can feel his arms shaking, probably exhausted from holding me up for all this time…

Oh, oh dear. I’ve been making him hold me up for too long. I pull away from the kiss.

“Bellamy, you can put me down.” I whispered into his lips.

He gently pulled his hands back up along my back, letting me unlock my thighs from his waist so I can stand up.

“As much as I want to keep you pressed up against me like that, I think my arms need a break every once in a while.” He smirked and grabbed the waistband of my pants, pulling me closer to him, eager to continue where we left off. I felt him rest his hands along my waist, his thumbs creeping up dangerously close to my chest.

I moved my hands up along his arms, relishing the feel of his muscles. I was right; his arms really did need a break. His biceps were bulging, and the veins in his arms seemed bigger.

“Your arms feel really nice when the muscles are strained.” I said as I looked back up at him. He grinned. A big, sheepish, and proud grin. He was clearly enjoying how intently I was looking at his body.

“I’m glad you think so.” He said, laughing. He moved closer to me and placed his hands up to my head, caressing the sides of my face, as I had done to him minutes before. My head was close to his chest. His hard, muscular, and warm chest. He moved his head closer to mine and adoringly kissed the top of my forehead, his fingers still playing with my hair.

“Is this the reunion you had in mind when you asked me to bring my ‘fine ass’ outside?”

 

**Bellamy, now**

I froze in place. Here it comes. She’s going to berate me for saying something stupid.

“Um, about that…” I started to explain why I thought calling out to her like that was romantic, but I felt her shoulders start to shake with laughter.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded, smiling myself.

“You’re such an idiot!” Clarke chuckled, wrapping her hands around my waist and nuzzling her head into my chest. Mmm, it was a good feeling. She continued: “You probably thought it would have been cute.”

Well, she’s not entirely wrong.

“Actually, I thought it would have been romantic.”

Clarke looked up at me, grinning widely, clearly trying to suppress a bout of uncontrollable laughter.

“Bellamy Blake, you’re about the least romantic person that I have ever known.” She was teasing me. It was adorable. Her nose was scrunching up and her eyes were full of joy. I should fuck up more often. I love seeing this side of her.

“And you’re mine. You’re my own special person.” She added.

As if on command, my arms felt instantly better, and I carried my gorgeous, laughing, and delighted Clarke into her cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end of the story. Stay tuned for the happenings inside the cabin.


	8. Who's in Charge?

**Clarke, now**

Bellamy carried me the entire way to the cabin, arms wrapped tightly beneath my underside with my legs still wrapped around his waist. He kept his face as close to mine as possible. He didn’t want to put any more distance between us, and I felt the same. He opened the door to the cabin and I saw him look around, admiring the tiny home I made for myself.

“I like what you’ve done with the place.” He said, and kept carrying me as he wandered around the cabin to look at my few belongings.

“Clarke…what the hell is this?” He shifted my weight into one of his arms and used his free arm to pick up my crude fishing rod.

“It’s what I use to fish. It works really well.” He gave me a funny look as he examined the can wound up with twine.

“It’s a can.” He said succinctly.

“You’re not wrong.” I replied, shrugging. I had made a fishing rod out of an old can and a lengthy piece of twine. You used it by tightly wrapping the twine around the can and then throwing it out into the water, letting the twine unravel itself on its own. Fish swam into it. It worked. Bellamy’s just didn’t think it was very manly, apparently.

I heard him put the can down and felt him reposition his hand directly on my ass. He wasn’t going to hold off on being bold any longer.

“I might have to teach you a few things while I’m here.” Bellamy said with his usual calculating smirk.

“I don’t need you to teach me anything. I need you to continue what we started outside.” I wasn’t in the mood to discuss survival skills. I’ve been living on my own for long enough to know how to find food. I only wanted him.

Bellamy blushed.

He actually blushed.

His adorable, freckled face turned deep red, and his lips parted to reveal the cheesiest smile I think I’ll ever see.

 

**Bellamy, now**

I felt my blood rush to my face. I suddenly felt really warm, almost overwhelmed with emotion. Clarke was just as anxious as me to get closer. I thought I was supposed to make some kind of small talk when we got in the cabin. To be honest, I felt nervous when we got inside. This was it, this was the moment I had been dreaming about for months, and I didn’t want it to feel rushed. I guess making fun of her can wasn’t the best way to ignite a conversation.

Oh, I must be grinning like an idiot right now.

Sure enough, Clarke was reacting to my expression. Her blue eyes lit up, the lines beside her eyes crinkled, and her mouth widened into a lovely smile.  God, she was stunning. In every way.

I carried her over to the bed and carefully laid her down beneath me. Clarke sighed and tangled her fingers into my hair, caressing the back of my head.

I got rock hard.

She was being adorable and I popped an unavoidable boner right above her. If I get any closer it will stab her in the leg. How do I hide it? I know she wants the same thing as me, but I don’t know if she wants it now. What if all she wants to do is some heavy petting and snuggling, with only the intent of enjoying the comfort of being so close to each other?

I’ve never been this anxious with a woman before. I’ve slept with countless girls on both the Ark and at the drop ship, but never with someone like Clarke. I respect her. I cherish her. I never, ever want anything to come between us and break us apart. I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself.

Oh – no, now Clarke’s the one putting pressure on me.

She just gripped my shaft in her hands and squeezed. Hard.

My cock reacted normally and pulsed back at her.

She did it again.

I’ve lost my train of thought.

 

**Clarke, now**

I noticed that Bellamy had a look of worry on his face. His eyes seemed distant, unlike what they were before when we first embraced. His brows were slightly furrowed and he wasn’t smiling anymore. I thought I had done something wrong, and considered for a moment that maybe this encounter wasn’t what he had in mind.

Until I looked down and saw the giant bulge in his pants.

He was having a hard time keeping it together. I think he was worried he was moving too fast, and that I would shy away when I saw how quickly he got hard.

He doesn’t know me well enough, then. I better show him that.

I ran my hands down his body from his shoulders, along his tight abs, down to the sensuous pelvic lines, and right onto the (still growing) bulge in his pants. I manoeuvred my fingers on him so that I was holding his shaft in my head, and then I gave a tight squeeze.

And another squeeze.

And another, until Bellamy looked me dead in the eyes and groaned.

“You’re not going to cum already, are you?” I whispered near his face, sharing the air with our breath.

“If you keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll have no choice but to cum. I don’t stand a chance against you, Clarke.”

Just like that, Bellamy was mine.

 

**Bellamy, now**

And just like that, I belonged to Clarke.

Normally I prefer to be the dominant person during sex, but I was so far gone that I just wanted Clarke in every way, shape, or form. Plus, it was Clarke. I’d bend any rules for her. If she wanted to lead the way, I was more than willing to comply.

Clarke smiled at me, a devilish, knowing grin. I saw her eyes move down to my bulge, her hand still gently moving up and down along my shaft. I was hovering over her, trying to keep my balance with my arms behind her head. Clarke moved her other hand to my belt and began undoing it, excruciatingly slowly.

“Get on your back.” Clarke demanded.

“Yes, Princess.”

We switched positions. I laid down on my back and Clarke opened my belt and undid my zipper. She slowly removed my pants and underwear until they were wrapped around my ankles. She straddled me around my thighs and then she-

She dipped her head down and –

“Unnnhhnnnn” A loud groan escaped my lips. Holy fuck. Clarke was flicking her tongue against the head of my cock, teasingly licking the tiny slit.

I was at full girth by this point. Clarke kept making eye contact with me as she licked and tenderly sucked the tip. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had to move my hands behind my head to keep them from ripping off all of Clarke’s clothes. How was I going to let her be in charge for the entire time? I was ready to burst.

“Bellamy,” she whispered, her hands still steadily stroking me, “be useful and take off your shirt.”

So I just became fully naked. On Clarke’s bed. She’s fully clothed.

I honestly never thought I’d see the day.

“Bellamy Blake, you are incredibly delicious.” She looked up at me, running her eyes all over my body. “I want to keep tasting you, but you have to promise to stay still until I say so.” Clarke practically purred, her lips wet with saliva and my pre-cum.

“Promise.” I managed to grunt out. I’d say anything if it meant she would keep doing what she’s doing.

I looked down at her as she opened her mouth wide, swallowing the entire length and girth of my member in one fell swoop.

I couldn’t help it. I cried out her name and my lower body bucked, thrusting deeper into the back of her neck. She didn’t gag, she just moved up higher along my body so she could press her weight against me, preventing me from moving any more. If it was even possible, I got hornier.

Her mouth was so warm, wet, and experienced. I felt her draw circles with her tongue along the tip, and felt her flick her tongue against my vein. One of her hands was gripping me firmly and stroked up and down in sync with her mouth. She cupped my balls with her other hand, tantalizingly massaging them.

“Clarke…” I was panting, trying to keep my orgasm in check as she was desperately trying to milk it out of me. She was working really, really hard. She was still fully clothed, and I wanted to work on her with just as much diligence. I wanted to make her feel as good as I feel right now.

“Please… let me…” I began my first, and only, attempt at begging her to let me have a modicum of control in this situation. It didn’t work.

She ignored me and increased her speed. I brought my hands down from behind my head and wrapped my fingers in her hair. Clarke was grunting with the effort, and I felt I should probably massage her head in return.

Then, Clarke sucked even harder. Her grip on my shaft got tighter, and her mouth got wetter, and she sucked as hard as she could, causing my cock to pulsate in retaliation. It felt so fucking good that my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I couldn’t stop moaning – I was entirely incapacitated. Clarke owned me. Her mouth owned me. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t catch my breath, and I had goose-bumps all over my body.

I filled her mouth with cum.

Like, filled it.

Or at least I thought I did. It felt like a whole fucking ship of cum. I might have been able to repopulate the earth with only that load. Seriously.

Clarke kept her mouth on me until I my rolling, earth-shattering orgasm was complete. My legs trembled with the degree of intense ecstasy. I gasped for air, still holding Clarke’s head in my hands.

“Ooh, Clarke. God. How? How did you?”

Clarke pulled her mouth off of my cock, cheeks full of my cum. She looked me dead in the eyes and I saw the muscles in her neck twitched. She swallowed.

She swallowed all of it.

“I told you. I wanted to taste you. I wasn’t going to stop until I did.” Clarke said, matter-of-factly. She smirked at me. I probably looked dumb-struck.

“Come here.” I said with my arms open wide, ready to hold her. She inched forward to me, planting a kiss on my forehead, and then resting her head on my chest, listening to my heart beat finally slow down.

“I want to make you feel exactly how you just made me feel.” I whispered into her hair, lightly stroking her arms with my fingertips.

“Good luck with that. I plan on keeping you naked and tied to my bed forever.”

Clarke Griffin is going to be the death of me.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm sorry for posting this chapter a day late. Please let me know if you like it!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapters I have written so far in my first attempt at writing a Bellarke fic. This will be my first ever attempt at writing a lengthy, slow-burn fic of any kind. Although I would appreciate constructive criticism, please bear in mind that I've never done this before, lol.  
> I hope to add two new chapters weekly, either on a Saturday or a Sunday.


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